Heinrik Hiramatsu;10:20pm

speaking of glasses, i’ve always wanted to wear glasses. for a really long time. i mean, since i was a friggin’ kid and shit. always thought they looked cool. and then i found out people with aquarius tendencies have an affinity for acceosries. not like glasses are literally and accesory, but more that they don’t come in skin or bone or muscle, type of accesory, ya know what i mean? i’ve been missing words in a lot fo my writings lately. and i’ve not been caring that much if i’m spelling correctly, which is what’s happening to my writing nowadays. nowadays meaning in this 30 something range. it’s almost not as important as getting everything out because i know i got enough juice left to actually go back and fix things. but then again, maybe that’s my problem. that i keep going and never go back to fix things. i guess i shouldn’t be so surprised when shit falsl the fuck apart, eh? so i suppose, it’s not a 30 something way of thinking at all. maybe i’m still stuck in my 20 something approach to life but have more of a 30 somethings rationalizing skill incorporated. kind of like the m-theory when you really think about it. all these different streams of thought connecting through a common single all ecompassing thought process. string theory to m-theory. glasses to holly.

see, holly and i went to go watch stephen hawking speak about black holes at cal tech last night. it was fantastic on so many levels. see what i did? i am about to incorporate another m-theory analogy. or maybe i won’t and inversely, creating another analogy. and that’s basically, how this lecture went, except it was about hawking radiation and particles escaping a black hole suggesting some sort of travel possibility. ya know. stephen hawking kind of shit. shit that i fucking get a hard on for. and holly seredenipitously came across a flyer at caltech, where she works, about stephen hawking giving a lecture that night, last night. and she asked if i wanted to go.

i said, “fuck yeah!!!”

and we met at my house, got in her rent-a-car, which she claims is better than her real car. oh yeah. she got into an accident a week before. she’s been seeing this accupuncturist and this chiropractor. she’s been exercising a lot, too. and within in her social circles, cutting the fat. for her, in this metamorphosis period, she’s really trimming out what she doesn’t need anymore. this kind of shell of a caccoon that once protected her in her developing stages, but now is no longer needed and in fact, has become a hindrance to her evolution.

after we met at my house, we had some armenian sandwiches down the street and then stopped by a starbucks for some coffee to go because we were probably going to be waiting in line for a good two hours. but the barista said she just ran out of coffee and would have to brew another pot. she asked if we could wait and if we could, the coffee would be free. we said, fuck yeah. and we sat at a tiny coffee table, hanging out like we used to.

she talked to me about cutting out the useless things in her life, the useless people in her life, the useless information in her life. she was telling me about how it’s really starting to give her shape and a sort of sense of direction and purpose. how she’s recognizing she’s not letting negative experiences effect her so much like they used to. and how that makes her feel a little bit better about herself.

and then she told me, in a very sincere and genuine way, that she recognized that i’ve always been a freind to her, even when she was pushing me away. while she needed more space to think. to keep me away so that she could figure things out on her own. and that while other people left, i was still there. and she didn’t say thank you, but i already knew, she was appreciating it.

it’s a conditional thing with people. for the most part. for the majority of people in the world. and that’s sad, but it makes perfect sense because people have to protect themselves. which makes us an imperfect society because if all sums of the parts where to somehow give off the same amount of energy without holding onto any, there would be this harmonious web of perfect connection. between everybody. but there’s too much fear out there for that to ever happen and so, we won’t see it until i finally create my mind control device. just kidding about that last thing. i haven’t even bought the parts for it yet, so it’ll take a while.

anyway, we left starbucks, better friends than we were walking in, and went to caltech to wait in a two hour line so we could listen to a dude who speaks through a tube operated by his cheek, speak about the primary forces of the universe, gravity, electromagnetism, strong and weak force, and how black holes allow somethings to escape. listening to how it all connects to each other, but figuring out how it all connects to ourselves and each others.

jeebus christ. see what a good lecture and a good friend can do? they can connect strings.

oh. and this is how i’m gonna connect it all. see, she wears glasses.